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That's What I Want in a Girl

from Songs in the Key of Geek by Debs & Errol

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about

Back in 2008, Errol had a crazy idea: why not do a 30 day vlog of a fictitious geeky vampire that lived in his mom’s basement? And he did, and he titled it Basement Vampire. He got a few of his friends to join in, and in one of the videos, he needed a song. So he wrote this one.

Debs particularly likes singing it because she gets to insult Errol.

lyrics

VERSE 1:
I want her to walk, and to talk and to eat
To sleep and to live and to die (but not now)
To be made out of cells
Made of carbon themselves
To breathe in and breathw out with a sigh

I want her to have eyes, to have fingers and toes
A head and some hair that she combs
When pricked she should bleed
When sick she should sneeze
And she should have two X chromosomes

CHORUS:
That’s what I want in a girl
One who’ll walk and who’ll jump and who’ll twirl
She can sit, she can stand
Should have feet and have hands
Cuz that’s what I want in a girl

VERSE 2:
I’m not asking much
For her to smell, taste and touch
To be responsive to all stimuli
Produce carbon dioxide
Has blood on the inside
Have a mouth, nose and lungs and two eyes

She should leave her house to buy basic necessities
Shop for stuff at a local drug store
Maybe search for some sales
In that aisle for females
What are all those girl products for?

CHORUS:
That’s what I want in a girl
One who’s living, that’s all I prefer
And bathes to some degree
Uses toilets consistently
Oh that’s what I want in a girl

I really, really, really, really, really want a girl
Named Keren or Milton or Merle
Don’t care what she’ll be, just as long she likes me
And that’s what I want
Oh that’s what you want
Yes, that’s what I want in a girl

credits

from Songs in the Key of Geek, released April 13, 2012
Lyrics and Music Written by Errol and Jeff Rankine.
Performed by Debs & Errol

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Debs & Errol Toronto, Ontario

A geeky, comedy, music duo with a daily webcomic!

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