It was Graduation Day at the Wizardry School,
The students stood, waiting a-shiver
For the Beastmaster and the familiars he’d brought,
None knew just what he might deliver:

To an earnest young lass at the head of the class
He provided a young pseudodragon;
To another, a bat; one proud boy a black cat,
Then a white wolf with his tail a-waggin’

He cried: “Ho, hee, now listen to me,
A familiar’s much more than a friend –
Fur, feather, or scale,
To the tip of your tale,
They’re the ones you stick with to the end.“

As he moved to the midst of the Wizardry list
The familiars were more variegated:
Griffin, serpent and roc, raven (“nevermore”), weasel
or hawk,
Child and creature were interrelated,

He cried, “La, lee, now listen to me,
You’ll be closer than husband and wife –
From the legs of your frog
To the hair of your dog,
You’ve a match for the rest of your life.“

Near the end of the line he was heard to opine,
“I’d not known the class size had inflated,”
He turned for these mages to the furthermost cages
Where the strangest bestiary awaited:

A young boy with red hair he led to an Owlbear,
To another he handed an Illithid,
Delver, Flail Snail and Grick, Monkey Bee and Mimic,
Giant Beaver and a small Shocking Lizard,

He cried, “Woe is me, now you cubs let me be!
‘Tis these beasts you’ll be bound to for aye,
You may find as you grow,
Best the tentacle you know,
Now you’re joined ’til the day that you die.“

On that Graduation Day at the Wizardry School,
Then they gathered the class in a round,
Each one clutching, or clutched by, a familiar their own,
And the chimes for the combat did sound:

(EPIC BATTLE SEQUENCE)

At the end rose a rube on a Gelatinous Cube,
Splashed with crimson and green and vermillion,
And as he rode away to the last light of day
They all said, “His was the Most Familiar.”